what goes around comes around

lesson learnt this morning. got screwed back right in the face :) big blow to me. it was about the assignment issue. well, i was asked to follow them back after class to do some work. that guy, his face was like so freaking full of hate towards me (if i didn't interpret wrongly) but i followed him back, for a reason i still hold until today (contribute, participate). he seemed so determined that he had something for me to do. but it was the same thing again, sat there, doing nothing. but the girls there were friendly. i mean they tried to help me out. i think they know what i'm going through (perasan! hahah) and another guy was quite helpful too. i mean he knows i'm feeling awkward and told me that i can leave if there's nothing to do. i wanted to leave but, contribute, participate! and that was the gravest mistake of all time. the group leader came, stood right in front of me, and screwed me right up.
him: why are you sitting here doing nothing?
me: er...i thought you wanted me to do something...the girl explained something to me but she said you needed to confirm it
him: you don't expect me to do all the job distribution right? i have too much things to think about already! you should go find things to do. walk around and help around!
me: ... errr ...
him: you know the lecturer assigned you into my group, and if this is what you are doing what am i supposed to tell the lecturer?
me: (suddenly i feel like i'm an under probation student)
him: so what do you want to do now? i really can't think of anything for you to do coz my head is full of other stuff. i don't know what i should assign you to!!!
me: er..
him: arghh! ok..i think there's nothing much here already...so you can go back now..i'll call you later for the later part
me: ok..thanks...

and there was my screwing. i dunno whether there is a problem with my mentality or not. this is what i think; i think the leader should distribute some jobs...actually i feel quite lame doing nothing there! and since he was so sure he needed me there (he was the one who asked me over) and i went and he didn't give me anything to do, what am i supposed to do? act like i hunger for work? and one more thing, i think that the more people walking around, there'll be less breathing space and people will get irritated! (that's what irritates me) but...am i really supposed to walk around and give stupid comments and idiotic suggestions which, in return, of course would make me feel like stupid idiot, in exchange for participating, and contributing? i really can't get along well with people...but anyway, thanks to those few who i think knows what i'm going through. thanks for the screwing...taught me a lesson. what goes around comes around... you'll get what you give... so this is not the end... just you wait and see :p